aitah for telling my husband to not be surprised and wonder what happened when he loses me and our kids?

It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of strong feelings right now. Whether or not you're the "a**hole" (AITA) depends on the context and how you said it. If you told your husband this because he’s been neglectful, dismissive, or emotionally unavailable, and you said it as a way to express your frustration and set boundaries, many people might understand where you’re coming from. Sometimes, people need a wake-up call to realize the impact of their actions. On the other hand, if the comment was said in anger or as a threat without a chance for open communication, it could come across as hurtful or manipulative. If you want, you can share more about the situation, and I can help you think through how to communicate your feelings constructively or better understand both sides.