To discuss difficult conversations effectively and talk about what matters most, it is important to:
- Begin with a clear context that sets the stage without ambushing the other person, easing into the topic with a calm introduction.
- Share your perspective using soft language, avoid absolutes, and focus on the problem rather than jumping to solutions.
- Use "I" statements to express feelings and impacts personally without blaming, which helps reduce defensiveness.
- Listen actively and attentively, trying to understand emotions and underlying values involved from the other person's viewpoint.
- Ask open-ended questions to encourage dialogue, and validate the other person's perspective by paraphrasing to confirm understanding.
- Prepare emotionally and mentally by exploring your own feelings and intentions, and consider the purposes of the conversation before starting.
- If the conversation becomes too heated, take a break but commit to returning to the discussion later to resolve issues.
- Work collaboratively to problem-solve with shared understanding and focus on maintaining the relationship and open communication going forward.
These steps help ensure difficult conversations become constructive dialogues where important issues can be addressed thoughtfully and respectfully rather than resulting in conflict or avoidance.
