There are several types of responses one can have to the stress caused by a conflict, generally encompassing both behavioral and physiological reactions. These can be broadly categorized into conflict-handling styles and stress or trauma responses evolved for survival.
Conflict-Handling Styles
- Competing: An assertive and uncooperative response where one tries to satisfy their own concerns at the expense of others.
- Collaborating: Both assertive and cooperative, aiming to find a win-win solution that satisfies all parties.
- Compromising: Intermediate assertiveness and cooperativeness; seeking a middle ground that partially satisfies everyone.
- Avoiding: Unassertive and uncooperative; involves sidestepping or withdrawing from the conflict.
- Accommodating: Unassertive but cooperative; prioritizes the concerns of others at one's own expense.
Physiological and Trauma Responses (The 4Fs)
- Fight: Reacting to threat through confrontation or aggression, aiming to establish control and security.
- Flight: Escaping or avoiding the threat to prevent harm.
- Freeze: Becoming immobile or "stuck," an involuntary response to overwhelming stress.
- Fawn: Appeasing or pleasing the threat to avoid conflict or harm, often sacrificing one's own needs.
Healthy vs Unhealthy Responses
- Unhealthy responses may include explosive anger, withdrawal, or inability to compromise.
- Healthy responses involve empathy, calmness, readiness to forgive, willingness to compromise, and belief in facing conflict constructively.
Summary
The responses to stress in conflict range from active engagement (competing, collaborating) to avoidance or appeasement (avoiding, accommodating, fawning), each influenced by an individual's perception, experience, and physiological stress systems such as fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. Understanding these can help in managing conflict constructively while mitigating stress reactions.
