It generally takes about 2 to 5 years to get over the pain and recover from an affair, although this varies widely depending on the situation. For shorter affairs, some individuals start feeling more stable around 6 to 12 months, but full healing—meaning renewed trust and intimacy—often takes longer, especially if the affair was prolonged or repeated. The recovery timeline assumes that both partners are invested in the healing process. Even then, the pain of the affair may linger and get triggered unexpectedly for years, but with work, the bad days decrease and good days increase over time.
Factors Affecting Healing Time
- Length and type of the affair (emotional vs. physical)
- Quality of the relationship before the affair
- Number of occurrences
- Accountability and transparency of the unfaithful partner
- Investment from both partners in recovery
Common Recovery Phases
- Intense emotional withdrawal symptoms can last about three weeks to six months.
- Initial grief and pain often ease over the first 6 to 12 months.
- Years of ongoing work are usually needed to fully rebuild trust and intimacy.
- Some people feel stable enough after 6 months to a year but may still get triggered occasionally.
- Healing is not linear, with good and bad days fluctuating.
Key to Recovery
- The affair must be completely ended, with no contact with the affair partner.
- Both partners must fully commit to transparency, understanding underlying issues, and rebuilding the relationship.
- Healing is a gradual process requiring patience, vulnerability, and ongoing effort.
Overall, healing from an affair is a long, challenging process that necessitates time and dedicated work by both partners.
