To have sex without feeling pain, consider the following expert-recommended strategies:
- Take your time and prolong foreplay: Longer foreplay helps increase natural lubrication and relaxes muscles, reducing pain during penetration. Delaying penetration until fully aroused is beneficial
- Use lubricants: Personal lubricants, especially water-based ones, can make sex more comfortable by reducing friction and dryness. Avoid oil-based lubricants if using condoms, as they can cause breakage
- Try different positions: Changing sexual positions can help avoid painful angles or pressure on sensitive areas like the cervix. Positions such as being on top, spooning, or doggy style might feel better if missionary causes discomfort
- Communicate openly with your partner: Discuss what feels good and what doesn’t, and don’t hesitate to ask your partner to slow down, stop, or change activities if you feel pain
- Relax and reduce anxiety: Stress and tension can increase pain. Activities like warm baths, sensual massage, or reading erotica can help create a relaxed, pleasurable mood
- Consider medical evaluation if pain persists: Painful intercourse (dyspareunia) can be caused by infections, hormonal changes, or other medical conditions. A healthcare professional can diagnose and recommend treatments such as vaginal estrogen creams, desensitization therapy, or counseling
- Explore alternative intimacy: Until penetration is comfortable, focus on other forms of intimacy like kissing, massage, and mutual masturbation to maintain connection and pleasure
By combining these approaches—adequate lubrication, patience, communication, position changes, relaxation, and medical advice if needed—you can significantly reduce or eliminate pain during sex.
