To make friends and influence people, Dale Carnegie’s classic book How to Win Friends and Influence People offers practical, timeless advice summarized as follows:
Key Techniques in Handling People
- Avoid criticizing, condemning, or complaining.
- Give honest and sincere appreciation.
- Arouse in others an eager want by focusing on what they desire
Six Ways to Make People Like You
- Show genuine interest in others.
- Smile sincerely.
- Remember and use a person’s name—it’s the sweetest sound to them.
- Be a good listener and encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
- Make others feel important sincerely
Winning People to Your Way of Thinking
- Avoid arguments and show respect for others’ opinions.
- Admit your mistakes quickly.
- Begin conversations in a friendly way.
- Get others to say “yes” early.
- Let others do much of the talking.
- Make others feel the idea is theirs.
- Try to see things from their point of view and be sympathetic.
- Appeal to noble motives and dramatize your ideas.
- Challenge others to do better
Being a Leader Without Offense
- Start with praise and honest appreciation.
- Call attention to mistakes indirectly.
- Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing.
- Ask questions instead of giving orders.
- Let others save face.
- Praise improvements lavishly.
- Give others a fine reputation to live up to.
- Encourage and make faults seem easy to correct.
- Make others happy about doing what you suggest
Additional Insights
- Criticism often backfires by wounding pride and arousing resentment.
- People are emotional and motivated by pride and vanity, not just logic.
- The key to influence is to talk about what others want and show them how to get it.
- Success lies in seeing things from others’ perspectives as well as your own
By applying these principles—genuine interest, appreciation, respectful communication, and understanding others’ desires—you can effectively make friends and influence people
