Enmeshment is a concept in psychology and psychotherapy that describes a relationship between two or more people in which personal boundaries are permeable and unclear. It is a state of cross-generational bonding within a family, where a child becomes a surrogate spouse for their mother or father. Enmeshment occurs when family members are emotionally reactive to one another and wholly intertwined in an unhealthy way.
Enmeshment can happen on an emotional level, where two people "feel" each others emotions, or when one person becomes emotionally escalated and the other family member does as well. The causes of enmeshment can vary, sometimes there is an event or series of occurrences in a familys history that necessitates a parent becoming protective in their childs life, such as an illness, trauma, or significant social problems in elementary school. Other times, enmeshment occurs as a result of family patterns being passed down through the generations, where family and personal boundaries become more and more permeable, undifferentiated, and fluid.
Enmeshment can be problematic because it can lead to a loss of autonomy and identity confusion, where individuals feel like they dont have a voice or personal choice. It can also result in over-involvement in each others lives, making it hard for the child to become developmentally independent and responsible for their choices. Enmeshment can become traumatic when children are exposed to inappropriate situations that adults should protect them from, or when a child is expected to take on adult emotions or responses.
It is important to note that there are cultural differences in how enmeshment would be experienced or conceptualized. Additionally, feminist family therapy critics have argued that the very concept of enmeshment may "reflect prototypically male standards of self and relationships, which contribute to the common practice of labeling womens preferred interactional styles as pathological or dysfunctional".
In summary, enmeshment is a concept in psychology and psychotherapy that describes a relationship between two or more people in which personal boundaries are permeable and unclear. It can lead to a loss of autonomy, identity confusion, and trauma. The causes of enmeshment can vary, and it can happen on an emotional level.
