what is limerance

Limerence is a state of mind that results from romantic or non-romantic feelings for another person, characterized by intrusive, obsessive thoughts, feelings, and behaviors ranging from euphoria to despair, contingent on perceived emotional reciprocation. It is a mental state of profound romantic infatuation, first defined in the 1970s by the psychologist Dorothy Tennov. Limerence is not exclusively sexual and can be defined in terms of its potentially inspirational effects and relation to attachment theory. It is an acute onset, unexpected, obsessive attachment to one person, characterized by internal experiences such as ruminative thinking, anxiety and depression, temporary fixation, and the disintegration of the self. Limerence is different from love, as it is unhealthy and rooted in addiction. It is a variant of romantic love, often marked by intrusive and obsessive thoughts about the object of ones affection, a craving for an emotional union, and a high motivation to win this person over. Limerence can be difficult to understand for those who have never experienced it, and it is often dismissed by non-limerents as ridiculous. Although limerence can be problematic, there are some positive aspects. The intense emotional high associated with limerence, like experiencing joy, elation, and excitement, can be good initially. Moreover, to impress their LO, the limerent may invest a lot of time in self-improvement, such as their physical appearance and social skills. However, limerence can also be problematic because it stops the limerent person from living their life to its fullest as they may withdraw socially. Furthermore, antisocial behavior like stalking and violence have also been associated with limerence.