When a friend has lost a parent, the most important thing is to offer sincere condolences, acknowledge their pain, and be present for them. Saying simple, heartfelt phrases like "I'm so sorry for your loss," or "Your [mother/father] will be greatly missed," shows empathy. Sharing a personal memory of their parent or expressing how that parent impacted others adds comfort. It is also helpful to offer ongoing support and specific help, such as sending a meal or checking in regularly, and to listen without pushing them to talk about the details of the loss. Avoid clichés like "They are in a better place" or "It gets better," as these might feel dismissive. Examples of what to say:
- "I'm so sorry for your loss. Your dad was a wonderful man who made a difference in many lives."
- "I have such fond memories of your mom’s kindness and how she always made everyone feel welcome."
- "If you want to talk about your mom or dad, or anything at all, I am here to listen whenever you need."
- "I know this is an incredibly hard time, and I’ll be here for you in the weeks and months ahead."
- "Would you like me to bring over dinner one night this week?"
It’s important to acknowledge the uniqueness of their grief, encourage sharing memories if they want, and remind them that it’s okay to feel whatever they are feeling. Just showing empathy, kindness, and consistent presence can be the most healing support for a friend who lost a parent.
