When talking to someone who is depressed, it is crucial to offer support, understanding, and patience without judgment or trying to "fix" them. Here are effective things to say and approaches to take:
What to Say
- Express empathy and support:
- "I'm really sorry you're going through this, and I'm here for you."
- "You matter to me."
- "I care about you, even if I don’t fully understand what you’re feeling."
- "Your feelings are valid."
- "You don’t have to say a thing, but if you want to talk, I am always here to listen."
- "You’re not alone."
- "What can I do to help you today?" or offer specific help like "Would you like me to come over and keep you company?"
- Encourage openness without pressure:
- "How are you managing?"
- "How do you feel about that?"
- "I’m here when you’re ready to talk."
- "Would you like some space, or would you prefer company?"
- Offer hope and practical support:
- "Depression is treatable, and many people get better with help."
- "Let me help you find someone to talk to or go with you to an appointment."
- "You can call or text me anytime if you need support."
- "Would you like to go for a walk together?"
What to Avoid Saying
- Avoid minimizing or dismissing their feelings, such as:
- "Cheer up."
- "Just think positively."
- "Other people have it worse than you."
- "You’d be fine if you just exercised more."
- "You’re being selfish."
How to Approach the Conversation
- Be a good listener without judgment or rushing to give advice.
- Use open-ended questions to encourage sharing.
- Focus on behaviors if emotions are hard to discuss (e.g., "I noticed you haven’t been out much lately. How are you feeling about that?").
- Be patient and persistent, gently reminding them you are there for them even if they don’t want to talk right now.
Supporting someone with depression means showing consistent care, validating their experience, and helping them access professional help when they are ready. Your presence and willingness to listen can make a significant difference.
